On Listening

In: Science

Submitted By adhelia
Words 877
Pages 4
I have nothing to live for.” Helen spoke softly. A bright and articulate woman at 86, this was the first time in 20 years that I had heard these words from her. She suffered from chronic osteoarthritic pain in her joints, and fatigue and dizziness related to difficult-to-control congestive heart failure. Her nonsteroidal anti-inflammatory drugs had been withdrawn because of heart failure and her cardiac medications resulted in symptomatic hypotension. Her medication regimen involved a delicate trade-off between effective treatment and adverse effects.
“I can no longer travel. I can hardly walk. My kids are grown and have moved away. They don't need me any more. I sometimes wonder why we are trying so hard to keep me around. My life has no purpose, no meaning.”
Helen looked away tearfully. Silence. My resident Lisa appeared uncomfortable.
“Yes you do! You have purpose,” Lisa chirped. “Tell Dr. Lee what's happening this afternoon! Who's coming this afternoon?”
Helen smiled. “My newest grandchild from Denmark. My son will be visiting this afternoon.” She paused. “I do look forward to holding him. But … they don't need me. All my life I've cared for others. I can't do that anymore.”
Lisa's words reminded me of some of my own, perhaps 20 years ago. I can well remember the discomfort of wanting to fix problems for which there were no fixable solutions, of wanting to provide comfort to the suffering patient but not knowing the “right” words to use. Those awkward periods of silence. The biomedical model of my medical training in the 1980s provided little help with this.
I have learned over time that sometimes, we simply need to listen.
Charon writes, “A scientifically competent medicine alone cannot help a patient grapple with the loss of health or find meaning in suffering. Along with scientific ability, physicians need the ability to listen to the narratives of the…...

Similar Documents

Listening Notes

...Listening and Nonverbal Communication Chapter 3 Mary Ellen Guffey, Business Communication: Process and Product, 5e Copyright © 2006 Notes Today p1 Starting Writing NOW! • • • • • • • • The four parts of the listening process Listening Process Barriers Listening in the Workplace Improving Listening ITW Skillful Listening Ten Misconceptions About Listening Most Irritating Listening Habits Nonverbal Communication Ch. 3, Slide 2 Mary Ellen Guffey, Business Communication: Process and Product, 5e Notes Today p2 • Functions of Nonverbal Communication • Forms of Nonverbal Communication • Nonverbal Communication and Perception Mary Ellen Guffey, Business Communication: Process and Product, 5e Ch. 3, Slide 3 Listening Mary Ellen Guffey, Business Communication: Process and Product, 5e Ch. 3, Slide 4 The Listening Process Mary Ellen Guffey, Business Communication: Process and Product, 5e Ch. 3, Slide 5 The Listening Process Perception Mary Ellen Guffey, Business Communication: Process and Product, 5e Ch. 3, Slide 6 The Listening Process Perception Interpretation Mary Ellen Guffey, Business Communication: Process and Product, 5e Ch. 3, Slide 7 The Listening Process Perception Interpretation Evaluation Mary Ellen Guffey, Business Communication: Process and Product, 5e Ch. 3, Slide 8 The Listening Process Perception Interpretation Evaluation Action Mary Ellen Guffey, Business Communication: Process......

Words: 1634 - Pages: 7


...Are You Listening Or Just Reloading? I think in our rush to argue and dissent these days, we have lost the art of listening. By that, I mean listening to truly understand the other person, not listening to agree or disagree, but simply listening to understand. There is an old Buddhist saying that goes something like: "Are you listening, or just preparing to speak." Recently, I heard someone from Europe speak on the subject of communication in America. He said this: "Americans aren't listening, they're just reloading." Ouch! That certainly does describe one kind of communication that seems to be increasingly popular these days. Have you ever been the victim of someone who is good at "reloading," someone who has been through one of those "effective listening" or "effective communications" courses? You know who I mean - they can make eye contact, lean forward, toss in the occasional "I see" and make every outward appearance of actually being attentive. The really good ones can also paraphrase or even repeat verbatim what is that you have to say. I am not referring to the person who is seeking to listen and to paraphrase before carrying on themselves; rather, I am thinking about the person who has become highly skilled at what I call "malicious listening." The malicious listener has mastered the art of listening with a not-so-hidden motive. This person listens to prove you wrong and uses your own words to make their case. They can quote you ("you said . . . .") and quickly......

Words: 1076 - Pages: 5

Speaking and Listening

...Speaking and Listening behavior I chose to work on my speaking behavior of staying focus. I tend to get distracted a lot when speaking and this is what I worked on changing. It was difficult for me to stay focused and give my 100%, initial few times I would keep reminding myself that I need to stay focused, only concentrate on one thing. I did find success but not always. Based on my efforts and observation, I could focus when I was more in contact with people who I am not too close with, this sounds strange but you can say that in a way I took my close people for granted. I have definitely realized this horrible habit, even though my intentions are not bad and they don’t really shout or tell me about it, I have come to know that when I focus I must focus completely with each and everyone. I am still in the learning and improving phase and hope to get focused eventually As for listening my weakness as a listener is that I tend to think of responses while others are speaking. At work, home or in any social gathering I tend to prepare my answers or talks while someone is speaking. I have been trying to again stay focused on listening and giving my undivided attention. When every these thoughts of responses come into my mind I remind myself to get back to listening so then I don’t miss out on any key points said by the speaker. This is more difficult for me since as I listen I do get distracted with other thoughts and start building my own thoughts. I am working towards......

Words: 301 - Pages: 2

Listening Paper

...I wouldn’t and would ask my mom later. B. I went in my grandmother room and took $1 so I could buy an Ice Cream cone. 1. I waited for her to leave the room and go to the basement 2. Then, I stunk outside to buy Ice Cream. 3. My grandmother came outside looking for me, to find out I was licking on an Ice Cream cone. C. I got caught eating the Ice Cream cone, even though my grandmother told no I couldn’t have one. 1. I had to Apologize. 2. My grandmother made me write her a letter on why it is wrong to not listen to an adult, and to never steal from anybody. 3. My mother ended up taking my DS, and other games. plus I couldn’t go outside for 4 weeks. III. Conclusion A. Finally, I realized that not listening to your grandmother and taking money from her was wrong which resulted in a miserable summer break. B. I would say to everyone, never disobey your grandmother or steal money from her because they remember everything and my grandmother still talks about this....

Words: 290 - Pages: 2

Listening Audience

... Sapp 1 Listening Audience Essay 2/4/14 SPC2017 Ms. Sullivan Throughout my career, I have attended many meetings and functions, each having different topics or atmospheres. Generally, I focus on the speakers or material, more than what the listening audience does. My experiences with these types of events were peaceful and without conflict. I had never thought watching people listen would give me any information on anything. However, I recently attended a meeting I was looking forward to watching the audience. I recently began working for a new agency, an agency that has many conflicts between management and employees; there have even been grievances filed. It is because of this I chose to observe the listening audience of a meeting we held in our Jacksonville office on December 31, 2013. This meeting had me interested in the audience due to the variety of speakers we had, from management to Union representatives and because we were addressing resolution of issues. As I began reading the Human Communication textbook, I was able to relate what I was reading in chapter 4 to what I had seen. Often, the importance of listening is taken for granted; we hear things throughout the day without even noticing. We listen to friends, family, and nature; whatever it may, be we hear it without thinking about it. This is such an unconscious occurrence we sometimes forget how important it is not to just hear but really listen. To appreciate the importance of listening one must......

Words: 1141 - Pages: 5

Effective Listening

...step in listening is to make a decision to be mindful (Wood, 2013, p.144.) Listening entails understanding what the person is saying and this is why we need to be mindful of what we are saying and why we are saying it. It is important that we listen with respect we should not be thinking about how we are going to answer them while they are talking. Just because you are listening does not mean you agree or even disagree with who is speaking. It merely shows that you are trying to understand. It is equally important that when you are in a conversation with someone to listen and understand. Always try to look at things from the other person’s perspective and not your own. . Guidelines for Effective Listening From the interaction does it seem to you that Alan is actively listening? After watching the video Alan is not actively listening due to the fact of his Kinesics behavior body which displays his body language and facial expression during the interview. Alan when interviewing both his employees shows no compassion or interest in what was being said to him. Gretchen was expressing to him why she was taking her time because of her attention to detail and Andrew was letting him know why he was late and missing days. Alan was focusing on Andrew’s Chronemics (time). Alan is not trying to understand how either of his employees is feeling nor is he actively listening. The first step in listening is to make a decision to be mindful (Wood, 2013, pg. 144) Mindful listening......

Words: 1006 - Pages: 5

Art of Listening

...Art of Listening www.humanikaconsulting.com Learning outcomes • Explain what we mean by listening skills • Identify why listening skills are important, from an employability perspective • Identify key reasons why we often fail to listen effectively • Adopt simple listening techniques to ensure that you listen effectively Introduction • Almost 45% of time we spend in listening. • An essential management and leadership skill. • A process of receiving, interpreting and reacting to a message. • Difference between listening & hearing Why Be A Good Listener? Needs of the Customer… • To be recognized and remembered • To feel valued • To feel appreciated • To feel respected • To feel understood • To feel comfortable about a want or need Traits of a Good Listener • • • • • Being non-evaluative Paraphrasing Reflecting implications Reflecting hidden feelings Inviting further contributions • Responding non-verbally Percentage of Communication Mode of Communication Writing Reading Speaking Listening Formal Years of Training 12 years 6-8 years 1-2 years 0-few hours Percentage of Time Used 9% 16 % 30% 45% Listening is the most powerful form of acknowledgment …a way of saying, “You are important.” Listening builds stronger relationships …creates a desire to cooperate among people because they feel accepted and acknowledged. Listening promotes being heard …”Seek first to understand, then be understood.” - Stephen Covey Listening......

Words: 1453 - Pages: 6


...EFFECTIVE LISTENING What Effective Listening Is ?         Effective listening is actively absorbing the information given to you by a speaker, showing that you are listening and interested, and providing feedback to the speaker so that he or she knows the message was received.  Delivering verbal communication, like writing a newsletter, involves trying to choose the right words and nonverbal cues to convey a message that will be interpreted in the way that you intend.  Effective listeners show speakers that they have been heard and understood. "We were given two ears but only one mouth, because listening is twice as hard as talking." Sources of Difficulty by the Speaker • Voice volume too low to be heard. • Making the message too complex, either by including too many unnecessary details or too many issues. • Getting lost, forgetting your point or the purpose of the interaction. • Body language or nonverbal elements contradicting or interfering with the verbal message, such as smiling when anger or hurt is being expressed. • Paying too much attention to how the other person is taking the message, or how the person might react. Sources of Difficulty by the Listener  • Being preoccupied and not listening. • Being so interested in what you have to say that you listen mainly to find an opening to get the floor. • Formulating and listening to your own rebuttal to what the speaker is saying. • Listening to your own personal......

Words: 503 - Pages: 3


...1. What listening requires? Listening is a process wherein a person uses his or her sense of hearing to successfully interpret a message in a communication process. There are a number of different requirements to be able to attain effective listening. Of course, the receiver should lend his or her ear and keep quiet, respect the one who is talking. In respecting the speaker, his mannerisms or habits and his and your differences in language should also be taken note of. Also, an open mind is also considered- accept the ideas and opinions of the speaker. The receiver should also focus and concentrate in what is being said to be able to fully and correctly understand the message to be conveyed. Another requirement is the simple responses all throughout the listening process. Simply nodding and maintaining eye contact will give the speaker an easier way to let all his thoughts out. Avoiding distractions or barriers is also a help in having successful listening. Also affecting the listening process are non-verbal symbols like the volume, tone, pitch and intonation of the speaker. The body language, such as facial expressions and eye contact, can also affect the listening process, therefore should also be considered. Lastly, the most important thing is to listen to the message’s essence and meaning, understand it, and don’t just listen to the words coming out from the speaker. 2. Five listening barriers and its corresponding solutions: a. Distractions- The noise around and......

Words: 645 - Pages: 3


...average of 70% of their time engaged in some sort of communication, of this an average of 45% is spent listening compared to 30% speaking, 16% reading and 9% writing.” (Adler, R. et al. 2001). Based on the research of: Adler, R., Rosenfeld, L. and Proctor, R. (2001). Interplay: the process of interpersonal communicating (8th edn), Fort Worth, TX: Harcourt. In this fast paced, technology-based world where the need to communicate is more important than ever, we all seem to be in so much of a hurry, that we do not really take the time to listen to what people are saying. Listening can help improve accuracy, solve problems, resolve conflict, and build relationships. As simple as good listening seems, through poor listening, we can misinterpret and misunderstand, which can cause confusion, frustration, and even conflict in both our professional and personal relationships. In a study of over 8,000 people employed in businesses, hospitals, universities, the military and government agencies, results showed that most people responding felt that they communicate as effectively or more effectively than their co-workers. However, research shows that the average person listens at only about 25% efficiency. Interestingly, while most people tend to agree that effective listening is an important skill, they do not feel the need to improve the level of their listening skills. (Haney, W. V. 1979). Despite the date of this study, it reflects an important statistic,......

Words: 1118 - Pages: 5

Listening Skills

...and Reinsch's 1988 study (pg. 161) found that a listener's responsiveness to others was crucial to effective listening. Describe three behaviors you could enact that demonstrate responsiveness. Then, describe how each behavior will improve your listening. (hint: it will be easier to answer this question if you try out your responsive behaviors in a real listening situation like a class) A behavior that could demonstrate responsiveness could be displaying good eye contact. If you’re making good eye contact with the speaker you’re able to get more out of it because not only will you be more focused on what the speaker is saying, but also you're showing the speaker that you’re actually listening. Another way is to show facial expressions or nod your head. By doing this you’re showing the speaker that you’re following what they’re saying. Also, it’s important that you provide the speaker with feedback or advice because that shows that you were overall listening to what the speaker is talking about. If you force yourself to think of giving feedback to the speaker, then you’re more likely to concentrate on their topic.   2. Most of us engage in ineffective listening at some point. Identify and describe two ineffective listening strategies that you employed in the past (see pgs. 162-178). Why were they ineffective? Glazing over is one very common ineffective listening strategy because many people that get bored with a topic tend to “space out” and completely tune out......

Words: 455 - Pages: 2


...Gupta 1  Reema Gupta   HMXP 102­022  Ms. Ferguson  28 September 2015  Listening is Important  According to dictionary.com the meaning of listening is giving attention with the ear or  attending closely for the purpose of hearing. In social gatherings, we hear what other people have  to say, but we do not listen to what they have to say because we cannot distinguish between the  concepts of hearing and listening.​s a society, we seem to have lost the important skill of   ​ A listening.​......

Words: 1241 - Pages: 5

Effective Listening

...The ability to listen more effectively may be acquired through discipline and practice. As a listener one should physically and mentally prepare yourself for the communication. We must be physically relaxed and mentally alert to receive and understand the message. Effective listening requires sustained concentration (regardless of the length of the message), attention to the main ideas presented, note-taking (if the conditions are appropriate), and no emotional blocks to the message by the listener. You cannot listen passively and expect to retain the message. If you want to be an effective listener, you must give the communicator of the message sufficient attention and make an effort to understand his viewpoint. Guides to Effective Listening Skills Here are some practical suggestions for effective listening which, if followed, can appreciably increase the effectiveness of this communicative skill. Realize that listening is hard work. It is characterized by faster heart action, quicker blood circulation, and a small rise in body temperature. Researchers have found that the higher we climb on the organizational ladder, the more difficult listening becomes. In day-to-day conversations, show the communicator you are interested by looking and acting like you are. Prepare to listen. To receive the message clearly, the receiver must have the correct mental attitude. In your daily communications, establish a permissive environment for each communicator. Recognize your own......

Words: 2164 - Pages: 9


...Topic: Don't insist on English! How long did you listen to it? 10:35 Summarize the main points(including the beginning middle and end): Patricia Ryan is a longtime English teacher who asks a provocative question: Is the world's focus on English preventing the spread of great ideas in other languages? In other words: What if Einstein had to pass the TOEFL? It's a passionate defense of translating and sharing ideas. Reflecting on the listening experience: How teaching English has morphed from being a mutually beneficial practice to becoming a massive international business that it is today. No longer just a foreign language on the school curriculum, and no longer the sole domain of mother England, it has become a bandwagon for every English-speaking nation on earth. What did you learn about America culture? Education: The Great Divide." Now I get it, I understand why people would want to focus on English. They want to give their children the best chance in life. And to do that, they need a Western education. Because of course, the best jobs go to people out of the Western Universities that I put on earlier. It's a circular thing. What new vocabulary words did you learn? 1. metaphorical Definition: not having real existence but symbolic and showing some truth about a situation or other subject Context: People who have no light, whether it's physical or metaphorical arbitrary 2. arbitrary Definition: based on chance rather than being planned......

Words: 292 - Pages: 2

Selective Listening

... Selective Listening Author Institution Selective listening is considered as a negative kind of listening; the selective means that the listener is biased to what he is hearing. The term bias here is based on emotionally difficult communications or preconceived ideas. All in all, selective listening is considered as failing communication sign because by filtering some information one cannot hope to understand. For a child, he or she uses selective listening to identify people, for instance, the child knows that his mother voice is different from his father’s. In addition using selective listening a child chooses to listen to cool sound by focusing his or her attention to a specific sound or spoken words. A noisy environment is not ideal for selective listening. A child who is developing will deteriorate his selective listening when exposed to an environment with unpredictable noises (Singleton & Shulman, 2014). The suggestion I would make to optimize the child’s ability to listen to speech for him to understand are using listening games and fun activities to promote the listening. Fun activities will help especially in dealing with selective listening where children hear what they want to hear talking to the child all the time will help improve their listening skills here a parent or guardian develops a habit of narrating chores done around the house to the child. Furthermore, when reading stories to the child, one can......

Words: 466 - Pages: 2